Honor

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The husband's attitude to his wife is also the subject of the Apostle Peter's writings. Peter tells the husband very forcefully that he is to give honor to his wife. This exhortation seems to come in order to contrast the interaction of the Christian husband and wife with that of the unbeliever, in particular the heathen. These latter had no knowledge of the true meaning of marriage. They had no understanding of the love which it was to be molded after. Hence the wife did not expect much respect or honor. She might even have been in a lower social order than the husband. She might have been only one of several wives kept by the husband for the satisfaction of the passions of his fallen nature. It is not surprising that some of these ideas and habits would cling to new believers. Indeed they are still seen on display today in countries that have been under the influence of Christianity for centuries. Peter wished to clear up the matter for these new believers, and we all benefit from these scriptures (1 Peter 3:1-71Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:1‑7)).
The husband is exhorted to dwell with the wife according to knowledge (verse 7). The Christian husband is given knowledge of the true meaning of love and marriage and of the example of Christ and His Church. This knowledge immediately puts the wife in a place of honor, a person to be nourished and loved. No longer are there different social levels. She is an heir together with him, though a weaker vessel, of the grace of life. Marriage is now honorable and the expression of physical love is subjected to divine instruction, with the pleasure of both husband and wife equally considered (Heb. 13:44Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4), 1 Cor. 7:1-51Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:1‑5)). All of this brings new dimensions to the meaning of marriage, and it also bestows new responsibilities on the Christian husband, that are to continue for a lifetime (Prov. 5:15-2115Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. 16Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. 17Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. 18Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. 20And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? 21For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. (Proverbs 5:15‑21)).
In closing this section on the responsibilities of the husband to love and honor his wife, a plea is made for more demonstration of this in an open way in the Christian home. Again, moderation is needed, but sometimes the attitude found in Christian homes implies that marriage is a necessary burden or trial. Surely marriage based on God's order is an institution of joy. Perhaps Victorian modesty, not scriptural modesty, has caused the love relationship between husband and wife to be so veiled that even the children must sometimes wonder if it exists. Even unbelieving psychologists tell us that the display of love in the home provides a security for the children that is not found elsewhere. In addition, a watching world, where the breakdown of the home is no longer an exception, must be impressed to see God-given love and respect displayed and acted on in the lives of human beings in a way that is otherwise unknown. Perhaps if the husband's love and his giving honor to the wife had been more visible in the past, the modern wife would not feel so degraded and confined.