The Wife as Helper

 •  6 min. read  •  grade level: 9
 
The wife is pictured in the Scriptures as the object of the husband's love. Her role relative to her husband is exemplified in the role of the Bride of Christ relative to Christ (Eph. 5). The sleep of Adam in order that he might have a helper and not be alone (Gen. 2:18-2518And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:18‑25)) is a type of our Savior going into death so that He would have a bride and not be alone. (See John 12:2424Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. (John 12:24).) From this we see that the husband sacrifices himself for his Lord and for his wife and children.
The wife for her part is to respond in reverence and submission to the one who gives himself for her. Where could a more harmonious relationship be found than in this model of family interaction?
The feminists react with horror to the idea that the wife, as an object of the husband's love, is to be obedient to him. This effect is undoubtedly due to the concept the world has of the act of submission. In the world it is a sign of personal weakness, of lack of self esteem, or the admission of inferiority to submit to someone. For the Christian who enjoys blessings beyond measure because of the submission of Christ to God's will at the cross of Calvary (Isa. 53:77He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. (Isaiah 53:7)), the act of submission has a totally different connotation. Throughout the Scriptures submission is seen as the way of fulfillment, happiness and peace. "Learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Matt. 11:2929Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (Matthew 11:29). Christ's subjection in life and submission in death are to be our example, whether male or female, if we wish the enjoyment of God's blessings in our lives.
It is only in the degree that the wife is subject to her husband that she can fill her role as helper which was given to her by God (Gen. 2:1818And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18)). The Scriptures unequivocally teach the importance of subjection and obedience of the wife to the husband. (See Eph. 5:2222Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22); Col. 3:1818Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18); Titus 2:55To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:5); 1 Peter 3:11Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Peter 3:1).) The failure of the husband to accept his responsibilities of headship does, without question, make it more difficult for the wife to be in subjection. (It was for this reason that in this pamphlet the responsibilities of the husband were considered before those of the wife.) Nevertheless, the wife is not able to excuse her lack of reverence or subjection on these grounds. Peter makes it clear that even if the husband were an unbeliever, the wife was to be in subjection (1 Peter 3:11Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Peter 3:1)). Opposition to this principle is so strong that we find even believers, rather than yielding to it, are denying the inspiration of the Holy Scriptures, God's Word for us in this age as in all times. May we be kept from the denial of the Scriptures either by our words or our deeds.
The principle of subjection by the wife to the husband is sometimes applied wrongfully. It is, perhaps, the opposite to the extreme of denying the principle, when the wife takes the attitude that since the husband is head of the house and to be obeyed, that there is little need for her to be exercised before the Lord about matters, but simply to submit to the husband's exercise. Even in the discernment of God's will for the family, the wife is to be the husband's helper. For this role she will need to be diligent in searching the Scriptures and in prayer so that their joint prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:77Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)). In this connection it is noteworthy that Moses's life was spared because of the faith of his parents, not the faith of his father only (Heb. 11:2323By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king's commandment. (Hebrews 11:23)). Also noteworthy is the fact that in Ex. 2:2,32And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months. 3And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river's brink. (Exodus 2:2‑3) the mother is the only one mentioned in the narrative. Every Christian husband needs the support, initiative and faith of a spiritual wife.
The wife can be spiritually stronger than the husband and yet be in complete submission to him. A comparison of the Ex. 2 account of Moses's life with Heb. 11 would lead us to believe that in this family the wife, in particular, was a woman of faith, but she acted with her husband. The result was a great blessing not only to the family but to God's people. Some might say that Moses's mother was a woman of unusual faith. This may be true, but consider Sarah who from scriptural accounts was very much in the shadow of her husband and who had to be rebuked for her lack of faith (Gen. 18:13-1513And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? 14Is any thing too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son. 15Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh. (Genesis 18:13‑15)). This same "unbelieving woman" is recorded as a woman of faith. "By faith also Sarah herself received strength for the conception of seed, and that beyond a seasonable age; since she counted Him faithful." Heb. 11:1111Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11) JND. It is, from this account, evident that even one who is spiritually weak and perhaps lacking in faith can, through God's sovereign grace, be used in blessing to the husband, family and God's people, by desiring God's will for the family. What an encouragement and help it must have been to Abraham to find that his wife who once laughed in unbelief later "counted Him faithful who promised."
In most cases, when the faith of a woman is referred to in the Scriptures, it is in connection with children. See 2 Tim. 1:55When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. (2 Timothy 1:5); Heb. 11;1 Sam. 1 and 2. These scriptures reveal that the role of the wife involves the spiritual and physical welfare of the children. What a challenge God's order for the Christian family presents to the wife! Particularly today, when most men work away from the home in an atmosphere of tension and competition, the husband will be absent a great deal and even when present may be mentally and physically exhausted. This puts a great burden of responsibility on the wife and is an important reason why if possible she should be in the home and not at outside employment. Her role as helper to the husband may be compromised if she is too tired and exhausted from duties not directly connected with caring for their children. The family does not need two persons playing the same roles, but what it does need is a father and mother who supplement each other by acting in the roles God has set out in His Word.
The Christian wife has been portrayed as a spiritual helper in the family. This responsibility belongs to every Christian wife. Abraham was told to listen to Sarah's advice (see Gen. 21:1212And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called. (Genesis 21:12)). Undoubtedly, the husband will benefit from heeding the advice of a godly wife. May our wives ask the Lord for wisdom to fulfill this role.