IN “Christian” England the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is well known, but how very little indeed is known of His Person. From infancy we have been accustomed to hear Jesus spoken of, and in the Sunday-school many of us learned the incidents of His life on earth, which thus became to us, in a manner, matters of history. The open Bible also is in our land—to say nothing of the profusion of literature speaking of Christ, or bearing His Name in one way or another―while the preaching of Him, and the many conversions through the power of His Name, all seem to form in our minds more than the historic fact that there has been a Man on earth―Jesus of Nazareth―who was crucified. I say the historic fact, because the knowledge of Him at one time was no more than that to the believer. Very many there are who thus know the Name, but not the Person of Him who is now the glorified Man at the right hand of God.
“Do you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ?” How vague are the answers to this question! I once asked a man, “Do you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ?” and received the reply, “Well, yes; I believe there is one somewhere.” So, when souls are convicted of sin by the Spirit of God, what has been learned about the Lord Jesus gives no peace, and too often the awakened sinner begins to devise means whereby to gain the favor of God, just as if His Son had never come to this earth to save sinners, and had never died and risen again.
Thus it was with the writer. Convicted of sin in the sight of God at the age of fifteen, I began to seek peace, but, alas, by looking for it in my own heart! Together with others, I went up to the penitent-form, and earnest men came and prayed and prayed on my behalf, now and again asking me, “Do you feel peace?” There I sat, a poor, convicted sinner, and those who professed to help were asking me if I felt peace, instead of showing me the way of salvation! Time went on, and I became a member of a religious body, attended prayer meetings, and engaged in religious work, but I knew nothing of Christ as the Sin-bearer, and His work on the cross, and so I continued struggling on against sin. Ah! only God and myself know how I fought against sin, but to find that I was utterly powerless to overcome. At last I gave up the struggle, left the profession of religion, joined the world, and sought to drown my convictions by indulging freely in the very thing which was a burden to me. I had been a religious sinner, and now became a worldly sinner again.
I married at an early age, and was employed as a railway signalman, being posted in an out-of-the-way place, where there were only ten houses. But here religious meetings were held every Sunday, and, having nowhere else to go, I occasionally went to them, where the conviction that I was a sinner again returned upon me. Once more I was exhorted, as I had been before, to give my heart to the Lord. I had no knowledge of what God was offering to me in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ, and, being completely blind to that, like the Israelites of old, I was making bricks without straw, trying to produce good works without Christ, who says: “Without Me ye can do nothing.” Some of the friends thought me truly converted, and they talked of making me a preacher; but “How shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!’” I knew not the “gospel of peace,” and was trying to add something to what the Lord Jesus had—done, not realizing that He had finished the work, and in so doing had brought an infinite revenue of glory to God and His Father.
After a time I was removed to another outlying post, where there were none but careless men, who despised the salvation of their souls, and scoffed and jeered at the mention of better things. Here I soon found my true level. The strength of my own will was insufficient; I could not fight against my own evil nature; and, not knowing Christ as the only source of strength against sin, I sank down into unbelief. I then came to the conclusion that salvation was out of my reach, and that the work was so painful, and the path so difficult, that I would try no more. I knew I was an unsaved sinner in the sight of God, but, had anyone asked me if I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, I should have replied, “Yes.” Had I been asked why He died, I should have replied, “For our sins.” I was far from being an atheist. I tried to get away from my convictions by becoming an atheist, but could not succeed. From a child I had believed in God, and had learned all about the Lord Jesus, and in a way had believed it, yet without salvation.
About this time, to a dear friend, also a signalman, it was given to know Jesus as his Saviour. I had spoken to him during what I may term my own “religious life,” but now it was his turn to speak to me. He wrote me an account of his conversion, and pleaded with me about my soul, for, when he saw the truth as it is in Jesus, he knew I was unsaved. I believed that what he said was true for him, but replied that our paths must now separate. I told him I had tried the path, and found it such disappointing toil, that I preferred to hug the chains of my bondage rather than again make an attempt to get salvation, which I knew would only end in failure.
Such was the effect upon my soul of religion without Christ! I was deliberately turning my back upon Him, who was all the time calling me with an unwearied love and pity to Himself.
Again I was removed from my post, but this time to a large station. Here, with the charge upon me of a busy cabin, twelve hours each day or night, in alternate weeks, and always duty either on Sunday or Sunday night, I had no inclination, had I had the time, to go to preachings or meetings of any kind. But my converted friend did not forget me, neither did God. My friend wrote me many letters, several of which I never read, and sent me books, some of which I read, and some of which I did not look at. Yet, somehow, again and again the sense of my lost condition would come over me, and make me miserable. I replied sometimes to his letters, arguing from my own experience against what my friend brought forward, but could not help giving in whenever the plain word of God was brought to bear upon me.
Thus, unconsciously, my mind was gradually drawn, by God’s grace, from myself to His word, and then I was given to see Jesus as the only One who could save me, and I cried to Him. It was now not religion but Christ I wanted.
Then came a time I shall never forget.
I was on night duty in my cabin, and had taken with me my Bible and a book which my friend had sent me, for I had sometimes a spare half hour, when I could read a little. I was in a low key, and not much interested in what I was reading; but all at once I came to something that showed me what I had never known before, namely, that the Lord Jesus had accomplished such a work on the cross that God was fully and infinitely satisfied, and that the evidence of this is in Christ being raised. My eye was directed to Christ in the glory above, and I saw in Him all that God required, and all for me.
I took up my Bible, and read the same thing there in John 17. My blind eyes were opened upon Christ, and from Him peace flowed into my heart, and love and joy beyond measure. It seemed as though really and literally the Lord Himself had laid my head upon His breast, that I might have the assurance of perfect rest. I was lifted up far above the circumstances of my daily toil, and the world was beneath me. There was no weariness that night, but just the full sense of His perfect love, and unbroken rest in Him.
My work went on as usual, but the peace was not broken or disturbed. He was still there, and it really seemed as though He had spoken the word again that once He did on the sea of Galilee, “Peace; be still,” for even the engines and trains seemed to move gently and as quietly as possible.
At midnight, with a full heart, I raised my voice and sang—
“Abide with me: fast falls the eventide,
The darkness deepens, Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail, and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.”
I opened my Bible at Mark 9, and read the account of the transfiguration, and thought, “Surely, I have been on the Mount with Jesus tonight.”
Do you speak about feeling peace? Ah! reader, if you have not known Jesus as the Man glorified, may He so reveal Himself to you, even as He did to me that night.
I went home full of quiet, peaceful joy. My wife looked at me, but neither of us said anything for a time. Then I told her what had taken place, and she quietly replied when I had done, “I saw it in your face when you came in.”
And now that I knew God was satisfied about my sins, by what His own Son had accomplished, what was there left for me to do? Well, I had just to sit down in the full assurance of it all, thanking Him for it, and to learn more of His love and grace, and to learn what was His will, so that I might seek to be an obedient child. I learned that His word alone was to be trusted, and that it is the only guide, and so I asked Him continually to open it up to my mind that I might know more of Him; and He has done so.
Many and many a quiet hour have I spent alone with Him, feeding upon and enjoying Him, when shut up in my cabin on Sundays. Many and many a time He is with me there, showing me things in His word of which I had never dreamed.
I would only speak of Him and of His beauty, dear reader, and would merely seek to direct your mind to what He is in Himself. He is “the chiefest among ten thousand,” the “altogether lovely.” (Song of Sol. 5:10, 1610My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. (Song of Solomon 5:10)
16His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (Song of Solomon 5:16)) Let your eye of faith rest on Him in the glory of God, where He now is.
Do think of the fact that God is satisfied in His own Son, and asks for nothing from the sinner. God is always the Giver.
Think of those words of the Lord Jesus: “I have glorified Thee on the earth: I have finished the work which Thou gavest Me to do,” and ask yourself the question. “Is God satisfied?” And as you reply, “Yes,” ask yourself, “Then what more do I require?” P. C.