"I Thought You Would not Wish to see Me if I was so Wicked!"

MRS. L — was introduced by a Christian friend to a Bible Class held on Sunday afternoons at S—.
Though still young, there was such a look of sadness and care on her face, that the one who conducted the class could not but feel a sympathizing interest in her, and invited her to spend an hour with her as often as she had leisure.
As she was in a, house of business, and knew no one out of the house, she was pleased to come, and it was not long before the secret was revealed.
She was married very young with every prospect of happiness. But, alas! for the joys whose springs are on earth! It was not long before her husband was drawn into bad company, which led him to neglect his wife and home, and soon after the birth of a second child, to forsake them altogether.
Her heart was almost broken, and she knew not the Lord in His power and grace; so no wonder that her health and spirits failed; and, fearing that she would fall into a decline, her friends advised her to give up her home and go into a house of busines4, while they kindly undertook the care of her children.
She came to S—, and soon found a friend in the house, Miss W —, who introduced her to me. She was much interested in reading the word of God, and frequently asked questions. She was pleased to stay to tea on the Lord’s day, and to come in for an hour in the evenings she was at liberty; but there was a deep unrest which no human sympathy could reach. She felt that she had been terribly illused, and that she had not deserved it, for she had “always tried to do right.” In answer to my enquiries, she said she had “always been a Christian, had always loved the Lord” — plain proof that she was yet in darkness.
One evening when she came, I read the third chapter of Romans, and endeavoured to bring before her what we were by nature, and then prayed the Lord to open her eyes, as He had opened mine. She said but little, and left earlier than usual; and the two following Lord’s days her seat in the class was vacant, nor did I see her during the week.
The second week she called on her accustomed evening, and I received her affectionately, as usual, but noticed that she was cool. Upon my telling her that I had been anxious about her absence, fearing, something was the matter, she said with much feeling, “I thought you would not wish to see me if I was so wicked, and I wondered at your receiving me now as you did!”
We went again to our chapter, Romans 3, and I asked her if she did not remember that I said those verses described me and all others by nature?
She did, but could not imagine that I could think myself so bad, and therefore mast mean her.
Again I put before her that it was God’s word, not mine; asking if she did. not believe what He said — pleading with her that surely the Lord Jesus would not have come down to earth, and suffered such a death of agony and woe, had. not our case been desperate — that He Himself had said He “came to seek and to save that which was lost” — that I had seen myself a lost sinner, and had found in Him a Saviour. She was much distressed — it was hard to take such a place; but she thanked me for my care for her, and left me affectionately. The next Sunday afternoon she was in her accustomed place, but asked no question.
Her attention was rivetted, and it was evident she was much exercised; and in conversation with her afterwards she said she believed what God said about her, she felt herself a lost sinner, but knew that Jesus came to seek and to save such. Her eyes were opened, and she wondered now at her former blindness as much as she had wondered why Miss W — and I were so anxious about her. But she did not stop there; she “believed the record that God gave of His Son,” and knew that all her sins were cleansed away by His precious blood, and that she had eternal life in Him. Yes, she was “a new creature in Christ Jesus;” and her own righteousness, which she had, been so anxious to maintain, was cast away as “filthy rags.”
The look of unrest was gone, for the “peace of God” filled her heart.
I have nothing to add to this simple account but the entreaty that you, dear reader, will give up your own thoughts about yourself, and believe what God says; then surely you will cry aloud to Him, and He will save you, cleanse you from all sin by that precious blood shed on Calvary, bind up your broken heart, as He did dear Mrs. L — ‘s, and “fill you with peace and joy in believing.” P.