IN very early life Ellen P. was brought to feel herself to be a sinner in the sight of God; but it was long before she was enabled to rest entirely upon the finished work of the Lord Jesus, who loved her, and had given Himself for her.
In the little town of C— in Sussex, where Ellen lived with her parents, some meetings for prayer were held in a cottage; her grandmother would often take the child by the hand and lead her to these cottage-meetings, and there little Ellen first heard of the love of our Saviour, and how He left His bright home on high, and came to seek and to save the lost.
It made her cry, as if her little heart would break, to hear the story of the blessed Son of God dying upon the cross to put away sin; and Ellen’s father, who was not a Christian, often told her she had better not go to the meetings, if what she heard there made her so unhappy; but she still felt that she must go to hear more about Jesus, though she was miserable from feeling the load of sin which seemed to weigh upon her little heart.
When Ellen was fourteen years old she went to live in a family not far from her home; she was still unhappy about her sins, but what especially troubled her at this time was the fear that she did not feel the burden of sin as she ought to feel it. This thought was a temptation sent by Satan, who tries to make a sinner think either that he is too bad to be saved or that he does not need forgiveness. At last Ellen told a kind friend a little about her difficulties.
“I do so much want to love Jesus,” she said; “I want to know Him as my Saviour; I want to be a Christian; but I am afraid; sir, I do not feel my sins enough.”
“Then, Ellen,” said Mr. D., “ask God to give you strength to feel your sins more.”
Ellen remained until she was sixteen years old very much troubled and perplexed; sometimes hoping she was a child of God, then again fearing it could not be so, for Satan filled her mind with doubts. At last one night as she went to her room, she felt as if she could never leave it again, until she was sure the Lord had forgiven her; and He who is ever more ready to give than we are to ask, now made it plain to Ellen that her sins had all been laid upon the Lord Jesus, and that He had washed them all away in His precious blood, and she was full of joy and peace.
All doubts as to whether she were a child of God or not were gone now; for Ellen had rested her soul upon Jesus, the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world.
Dear reader, if you know what it is to be burdened with the load of sin, ask the Lord Jesus to take away your burden, and give you peace and happiness such as He gave to Ellen. If you have never felt your sins to be a burden, I trust you may soon feel the weight of them, and be led to the “Sinner’s Friend.”
Ellen is still living, a happy Christian, trying to lead others to Jesus, and looking for Him to come in His glory and take His ransomed ones, His jewels home, to be with Him forever. He has said, “Behold, I come quickly!” Can our hearts respond, and say, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus”?
S. E.