“NO! I want nothing to eat, nothing to drink, nothing that this world could give; I want to go to Jesus. Don’t speak to me, except of Him; He is all I desire.” These are the words of one who recently went to be forever with the Lord.
Many times had He spoken to this precious soul through His servants, and as many times had His loving invitations been treated with scorn, until at last she became not only a despiser of God’s word but a bitter persecutor of His people.
It was when Mrs. T. was brought face to face with death, and with the realities of eternity, that the grace of God broke her heart, and she was brought to see herself a hell-deserving sinner. And then it was that she was led by the Holy Ghost to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, to the saving of her soul.
She had been terrified at the thought of death, but now how changed! She loved to say, “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 15:55-5755O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 56The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:55‑57))
Those whose privilege it was to visit her during her last fortnight on earth will never forget her confidence in God, desire to be with the Lord.
“He is precious to me,” she would say; “He is all I desire. Don’t speak to me of anything but Jesus. Oh, my loving Saviour! He loves me so much, and I shall soon be with Him.” Then after a pause, “Why do people ever doubt Jesus? He is so loving and so precious. I shall soon be with Him forever. But I am with Him now.”
“Yes, and He is with you, too, and He will never leave you.”
“Ah, I know that. Bless and praise His holy name! But tell me, how is it that He loved me so much?”
“He was not willing that you should perish, but desired that you should have eternal life,” was the reply.
The disease from which Mrs. T. was suffering brought on periods of the most intense pain, which forced her to cry out, “Oh, what I am suffering!” “Won’t you pray for me, that the Lord will take me?” Then she would correct herself, and add, “But I must be patient. I will wait His time. I don’t want to grieve my blessed Lord. When I think how soon I shall be with Him I can hear it all patiently, for the sake of my Lord Jesus. I shall soon be with Him, and then I know all my suffering will be over.
“Oh, what will it be to be there? Oh, my blessed Jesus, I shall soon see Thee and be with Thee forever!”
Another who went to see her thought that perhaps she might have some mistaken thoughts as to what made her so acceptable in God’s sight, so he said, “It is through the blood that you enter heaven.”
“Oh yes,” was her immediate reply, “I know that; I know that Jesus has finished the work. He has completely done everything for me, and so glorified God. What am I but a poor worm? Oh! we have something to praise God for.”
“God will never speak to you about one sin now, Mrs. T.”
“No. Blessed be His name! I know I have no sins on me now, for they have all been borne by Jesus. And I shall soon be with Him, my blessed Lord.”
So sweet was it to witness her joy and confidence in the Lord, and to hear the oft-repeated desire to be “with Him,” that as we stood by her bedside we could not refrain from tears of joy.
Another striking proof of the reality of her conversion to God was her love for all His children. Frequently she would say, “I do love you, because you belong to the Lord.”
The one who was with her during the hours of what proved to be her last night on earth, gives the following account of her happy state at that time.
“He is precious,” she said. “He has been precious for some time now. He is here by my side.” — “What am I stopping down here for? It is the Father’s will that I should be down here a little longer, but I shall soon go to be with the Lord.”
Once, after being in great pain, she said, “Art thou coming? But oh! I will wait; I will be patient.”
About three o’clock in the morning she sang in a clear voice the words of a hymn; but soon afterward her breathing became very difficult, and it was thought she would have passed away. With a face beaming with joy, she gazed up toward heaven, and pointing with her finger, exclaimed “I can see them! They are coming nearer!”
On the morning after her death, when talking with her daughter and another young woman, as we looked on the worn-out body of dear Mrs. T. one remarked―
“She has gone to that Jesus of whom she spoke so much. What a blessed thing to know oneself eternally saved! She knew this, and had no more fear of death than you have of sleep. But what a solemn thing for anyone to die in his sins and be lost forever, to be cast into outer darkness where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.”
Turning to the young woman, I asked, “Have you ever thought of these things?” The answer was “No.”
Oh, reader, what is your position? If you are not in Christ you are still lost. What will be your end if you die as you are? Take warning from the following awful scene, which was witnessed by the dear servant of Christ who was the means in God’s hands of my own conversion.
“One night,” said he, “after I had retired to rest, I was awakened by someone knocking at the door of my house. On opening the door there stood an old man, who asked me to go and pray for his child. On arriving at the house an appalling scene presented itself. There was the mother on her knees crying, ‘O God, save my child! Lord, have mercy upon her!’ The husband then asked me to pray for the young wife, who lay upon the bed with the death-sweat on her brow and horror in her face, crying, ‘Oh, I am damned! I am sinking into hell!’
Oh, William, my dear husband, train up our child for heaven. I am dying, and hell is my doom. Take him to my grave, and tell him his mother is damned. ‘Oh, my babe! your mother is being damned.’ While her poor husband groaned, ‘Oh that my wife had never been born,’ she tore her hair and screamed to them, ‘Oh, can’t you save me? Oh, husband, save me!’ And thus she died.”
My reader, reflect that one of these two ends must be yours. Either victory through the blood of the Lamb, or eternal ruin.
J. S — N.