One day, soon after my conversion, when trials had come almost without intermission, and difficulties had arisen in my path continually, as evening closed, I threw myself upon my knees, and said, in my helplessness and sorrow,
“O Lord, I do not know that I have any love to Thee.”
It seemed as though the tiny spark in my heart which should have burst forth into a kindling flame, had been well-nigh quenched by the day’s trials.
As the words left my lips, for I know I spoke them audibly, another voice, quick as a flash of lightning, and tender and gentle, and full of sweetness, said to me:
“It is My love to thee, not thy love to Me.” Ah! I had been measuring the uncertain beating of my heart’s love to Him by the side of His boundless love, who declares, “Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love; therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.” (Jer. 31:33The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. (Jeremiah 31:3)).
That evening I learned a lasting lesson; the love of Jesus to me is outside any love I have, or may have for Him. I was reminded again from God’s own Word, that Jesus “was in all points tempted like as we are,” sin apart, and that in Him now “we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities.” (Heb. 4:1515For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)). How His wondrous love and tenderness drew my heart to Him none can know except those who in similar trials have realized the preciousness of His “love which passeth all understanding.”
Reader, if you are discouraged by your sense of love, and faithfulness to Christ, look outside of yourself, lift up your eyes to Him who has loved you, so fully, so richly, so wondrously as to die for you, and who, now He has risen again ever liveth to make intercession for you; and rest satisfied in the ocean of His unchanging love.