The next consideration of our meditation on the misplacement of marriage is found in the Lord’s own words: “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” (Luke 16:1818Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. (Luke 16:18)). Here the Lord refers to a second marriage. The circumstances of this verse show that there can be instances where someone, identified simply as “whosoever,” can enter into a second marriage one that the Lord does not own as preserving the “bed” in an “undefiled state.”
The marriage to a “put away” one under the circumstances of this verse (as well as in that of Matthew 19:99And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19:9)) is called adultery. Such misplaced marriages are a cause of grief and sorrow. When believers are involved, it only multiplies the sorrow, for they belong to the God who has said, “Let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away” (Mal. 2:15-1615And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. (Malachi 2:15‑16)). Oh! may we who are His children hate it too, and ever remember, beloved Christian, that “yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant” (vs. 14).
How insensible we have become to the Lord’s thoughts regarding the marriage union, taking up with the ways of this apostatizing world! The violation of the marriage union will be a major factor in this road to apostasy. Beloved! How we hold the marriage union does affect our relationship with God on this earth, the scene of His governmental dealings with His children.
Marriage: Its Moral Order
My final consideration of the misplacement of marriage relates to its placement in time. The violation of the proper placement in time, of marriage, has been a source of great sorrow in the lives of many believers. In the Lord’s thoughts, marriage would take place between two virgins (virginity includes both male and female; 1 Cor. 7:34-3634There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. 36But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. (1 Corinthians 7:34‑36) JND; Rev. 14:44These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb. (Revelation 14:4)). It may also be entered into more than once in the event of the death of a spouse (Rom. 74Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. (Romans 7:4); 1 Cor. 734There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. 36But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. (1 Corinthians 7:34‑36)). Marriage precedes, in time, the coming together of a man and woman in that act referred to as a man “knowing his wife.” “Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived.” The coming together in this male-female act does not constitute marriage. Marriage is an act or event that precedes, in time, this act. Any other order in this relationship is sin.
That is the force of Hebrews 13:44Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4). God had married Adam and Eve when He brought the woman to the man and made His pronouncement: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” After that, in the next verse, they are called “the man and his wife” (Gen. 2:24-2524Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24‑25)). Before the Lord brought Eve to Adam and made this declaration, they are called male and female, man and woman.
God holds as an act of sin (not an act of marriage) the coming together of the male and female a man and a woman prior to marriage.
Union Before Marriage Is Unscriptural
We have emphasized that it was God who brought the woman to the man. She did not come to Adam, nor did he go to her it was not an act of theirs that brought them together, but of God.
That is what marriage which is of God is: “What therefore God hath joined together” (Matt. 19:66Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)). God joins in marriage a man and woman together in the husband-wife relationship, which precedes a couple “coming together” (the Scriptural term) or “living together” (the world’s term).
That the act of coming together does not constitute marriage is plain from the Word of God. In Genesis 34, it was after Shechem had “defiled” or “humbled” Dinah that he sought her for his wife. No one considered her to be Shechem’s wife as a result of his humbling of her. “Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.”
Shechem’s act was an act of sin, not an act of marriage. But notice it says that he “lay with her,” which is a different thing from saying that “he forced her.” This act was no doubt by mutual consent yet even so, it was not considered a marriage.
In the matter of Amnon and Tamar (2 Sam. 13), where we read that he “forced her,” clearly it was not considered marriage. Tamar told Amnon, “Do not force me;... I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.”
Forced Marriage Is Unscriptural
There has been, and perhaps still is, a teaching circulated among Christians that the first man that knows a maid is to be considered her husband. It is false teaching and has caused great sorrow and tragedy among believers. Such teaching has led fathers to unwisely give their humbled or forced daughters to unworthy men.
This principle is seen in Exodus 22:1717If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. (Exodus 22:17): “If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.” There could be similar cases with young men, but God holds the man much more responsible than “a weaker, even the female, vessel” (1 Pet. 3:77Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7) JND).
Still, there is the “strange woman” of Proverbs that “seduces” men. Surely one would not demand that a young man, allured by means of a “whorish woman” (Prov. 6), marry her but, let all men beware.
And may all, male and female alike, learn “that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel [body] in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God” (1 Thess. 4:4-54That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; 5Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: (1 Thessalonians 4:4‑5)).
The consequences of placing marriage after these types of sin are tragic and can hinder a Christian’s normal spiritual growth for life.
While we do read, “And such were some of you,” that is not an encouragement to sin (1 Cor. 6:1111And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:11)). Every violation of God’s order has its consequence in the governmental ways of God. For the believer the word is, “Let it not be once named among you” (Eph. 5:33But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (Ephesians 5:3)). Remember too, the intent to marry does not change the fact that it is sin, if done before marriage.
Marriage: Purity Is God’s Mind
In conclusion of the consideration of the misplacement of marriage, I want to stress that I have not said that only virgins, widows and widowers may marry. Scripture does not indicate that. But, where it is otherwise, let us not teach that such is God’s desired order or plan for man.
It appears that in certain instances, divorce and remarriage may be allowed God may allow it to be so. But may we Christians seek in our lives to be a clear epistle, seen and read of men, possessing our vessels in honor. Personal purity prior to marriage is certainly God’s mind regarding this institution.
Marriage: The Ceremony
As to the actual marriage “act” or “ceremony,” I think that scripturally a couple do not marry themselves. Marriage would involve at least a “third party.” God did so in Eden when there were no other men. It is chiefly an act before God and owned by Him. Scripturally, in His order, things are established among men in the mouth of two or three witnesses.
In some cases, it may also be required to be a “civil” ceremony. Since the flood, government has been ordained by God. There may be civil ordinances concerning marriage to which the believer is to submit (Rom. 13). These ordinances, however, cannot violate the claims of God upon His children (Acts 5:2929Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. (Acts 5:29)).
Normally the woman is “given” by one who has had or may have responsibility for her care, such as her father, uncle or brother. (See Rebecca, Leah, Rachel and Esther as examples.) How happy it is when Christian parents or responsible brethren can be happy about the marriage of a sister in Christ to a brother in Christ. And, the marriage ceremony should be done in the same manner as all functions involving believers: “Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Cor. 14:4040Let all things be done decently and in order. (1 Corinthians 14:40)).
How thankful we can be that there are in the Word of God many principles relating to the wonderful institution of marriage for those who are seeking His glory and guidance in their lives.
H. Short
(to be continued)