"Leaving the Natural Use": The Misuse of Marriage

 •  5 min. read  •  grade level: 9
 
In the March 1999 Christian Shepherd we were considering Abraham as an example of the sovereignty of God and responsibility of man, thinking of this especially as regards marriage and family relationships. The Lord knew Abraham, that he would command his children and his household after him. In glorifying God in this responsibility, the Lord could bring on Abraham the blessing which He had promised. (See Genesis 18:1919For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. (Genesis 18:19).)
Thus, the Lord’s knowing Abraham enabled Abraham to fulfill his responsibility in the relationship into which he had been brought. Clearly, dear believer, there are consequences, solemn consequences, that result from our failures. It is our side I now desire to consider, for we have nothing to say to God’s side: “O man, who art thou that repliest against God?” (Rom. 9).
Lessons From Lot’s Life
I would now like to consider the lessons we learn from the life of Lot lessons to help us avoid the tragic result of the misuses of family relationships. Both our Lord Jesus and the Apostle Peter call our attention to Lot and to his wife for the purpose of instructing believers today.
Lot’s day, like ours, was filled with prosperity and pollution (Luke 17:2828Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; (Luke 17:28); 2 Peter 2:77And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked: (2 Peter 2:7)). The final New Testament statement of this married couple is, for Lot, “Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked,” and for his wife, “Remember Lot’s wife.” (It is remarkable that Lot is never called her “husband.” Sad to say, he never morally fulfilled that role.)
Lot’s Beginnings
We are introduced to Lot in Genesis 11. I do not know where his wife came from perhaps Sodom or Egypt. It is striking to note that he is of the lineage of Shem, that family of whom it is recorded, “Blessed be the Lord God of Shem” (Gen. 9:2626And he said, Blessed be the Lord God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. (Genesis 9:26)). The family of Shem had the Lord for their God. Is it any wonder, then, that as the posterity of Shem is recorded from Genesis 11:1010These are the generations of Shem: Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad two years after the flood: (Genesis 11:10), the word “lived” is found 16 times? Not until after we read in verse 27 of the birth of Lot do we find death mentioned. In verse 28 it says, “And Haran [Lot’s father] died.” We learn from Joshua 2410But I would not hearken unto Balaam; therefore he blessed you still: so I delivered you out of his hand. (Joshua 24:10) that idolatry had come into this family, for we read, “Put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood [river]” (Josh. 24:1414Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. (Joshua 24:14)). Oh! how the displacement of God, by anything, brings sorrow into our lives!
Lack of the Father Influence in Lot’s Life
I desire for us to see from the death of Haran that Lot did not have a father’s influence while growing up. When our children have no true “father” influence as they grow up, the results will be seen in their lives. Even though his grandfather Terah “took... Lot,” he had not a father.
In desiring to speak to our hearts, I do not speak of those actual cases where children are left fatherless by death, but of them, morally, being raised fatherless. Sometimes we who are fathers look to our natural families to care for our children, or we even expect the assembly to provide for the needs our children have in the realm of nature. The assembly is to be left free from this burden that it may “relieve them” that have not family members to care for them (1 Tim. 5).
We see increasingly a growing number of “family churches.” But how happy it would be if “church families” would increase families addicting themselves to the ministry of the saints (1 Cor. 16:1515I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas, that it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and that they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints,) (1 Corinthians 16:15)).
The Misplacement of Family Responsibilities
Few things are more apparent today than the fact that the family responsibilities have been placed everywhere and anywhere but where God has placed them.
In our town, at the entrance of the public school playground, a sign has been placed called, “An African Proverb,” which reads, “It takes a whole community to raise a child.”
I do not deny that our families are helped by the community. Our children may use “tutors and governors” supplied as public school teachers. But fathers and mothers! The responsibility for the forming of your children for Christ’s interests is yours and is given you by God (Eph. 6; Prov. 22).
We live today in a society that has truly removed landmarks (Deut. 19). That is, no one seems to know any longer who has responsibilities in what areas. Landmarks determined what belonged to one family and what belonged to another. No one was to cross over these boundaries, as though each had rights to what belonged to another. Often parents do not accept parental responsibilities. We see fathers who do not “provide... for those of his own house” and mothers who are not “keepers at home” (1 Tim. 5; Titus 2). Everywhere “landmarks” are removed and parental responsibilities abandoned given up to the school, the assembly, the government, day care centers, or whoever or whatever has been made available to take care of our children for us.
The Value of What Children Learn at Home
What children learn from their parents at home is of very great value. In these last days, God’s Word places importance on the family relationship. Consider these expressions found in Paul’s last epistle: “I serve [God] from my forefathers,” “thy grandmother Lois and thy mother Eunice,” “disobedient to parents,” “without natural affection,” “creep into houses,” “from a child thou hast known” and “salute the household of Onesiphorus.” All of these expressions are from 2 Timothy and all relate to family life. A respected servant of Christ spoke concerning this very epistle, “It is striking to see how Paul goes back and down to natural associations. He departs here from the fullness of the doctrine usual to him and becomes private and personal.”
I am personally persuaded that until we restore our family life according to God’s thoughts concerning it, we will not properly enter into the “mysteries” given by Paul, belonging to Christianity. May we come back and down with Paul, taking heed to these natural associations.
H. Short
(to be continued)