November 25th, 1861.
My Dear——,—It is pleasant to write to you while you are in the wilderness, and I too; but home is home, and I count upon seeing you there, in courts above, where conflict shall have ended in victory, and the crown be ours in the presence of the Crowner with His many crowns.
There will be rest there; now there is none around; and though there be peace, rest is hardly the word for it within. It is, I think, Leighton who remarks, that no sooner is Christ formed in the heart than there is as much stir within against Him as there was in Jewry when the Babe was born there. The powers that had been in possession in the land knew Him not, and Herod sought the young child's life. I remember well the conflict in my own self when first I believed, and I should not be surprised if you too should pass through some of the same trials. The ground we are upon (see Gen. 3) is a ground where a fearful conflict is going on between God and Satan. And the seed of the woman, and they that are His, are the abomination of Satan, and conflict is all that we can look for as far as he is concerned.
What troubled me most was the discovery of my own awful badness and vileness in myself; and if Satan hid himself amid the household stuff within, and oft spake words that I thought came from myself, he could not have been there i the house had at one time not been let to him. I conceive that the discovery of the extent to which he has had power over us is a very humbling thing; but then it does tend to teach us that grace is grace indeed, and that there are divine springs of mercy which, because divine, are perfect, while, on the other hand, they are sufficient for one that has to say, " Nothing but mercy'll do for me."
I remember the hymn in the Olney collection, " I asked the Lord that I might grow," &c., was a great stay to me. If you get into conflict, may it be so to you, my dear——.
I am uncertain how I may be ordered, N., S., E. or W., but my heart is to come and see you all; and so soon as I can see my way, I shall write and offer myself.
I was called to Ryde last week. Sir C. B. is low in body, though very happy in soul. His voice is gone. Mrs. W. is in fever of some kind or other; the Lord can raise her up.
God bless you, dear——, and bless the circle around you. Our love to all.
G. V. W.