April 19th, 1845.
Lately I have read, to edification, Numbers, and the Epistle to the Philippians. The establishment of the rod of Aaron, a priest in grace, whilst being in authority, after all the murmurs of the congregation; its employment, although this was by Moses; its lack of employment at the time of the new complaints of the congregation;-all this has singularly instructed me. At the same time when God had judged and disciplined the people, the manner in which He immediately speaks (chap. 15.) of all His promises and of the land as being theirs, having been given them by Him, has touched me much. His promise and His thoughts for His people are as firm as if nothing had happened. The responsibility and the sustenance of the priests as such, and of their families as families, and the points of difference, have also edified me much.
That which has struck me much in the Epistle to the Philippians, is how the apostle has his death continually before his eyes; then, that the trials which he had endured had acted as good discipline, causing Christ to be all for him, himself being nothing. And what peace this gives! He does not know if he is to be condemned. As to himself the arrangements of the magistrates did not enter his thoughts; as to himself he does not know what to choose; but it is good that he should remain for the church: thus it is decided. He judges his ease, by the sole consideration that such a decision will be for the good of the church, and thus Christ will make it decided. Is it thus that we trust Him, dear brother? Alas! no; at least too often we are not sufficiently emptied of self. We cannot say with the apostle, “I have learned.” This is what we must learn. Well! it is the life of this man, so faithful, so devoted, and so gifted of God, the life of the Apostle Paul, taught and disciplined in this manner, and the perfect calm with which he enjoys the consequences of this discipline, which has lately been to my edification in reading this epistle.
November, 1855.
Without getting much new, I have greatly enjoyed, and I hope profited by, the word. The Psalms have been the subject of our conversation, and a number of passages here and there have had more force and clearness to my soul. I have been much struck with the effect of the judgment-seat of Christ upon Paul. He sees all the terror of it, but the only effect is, to engage him to persuade others. The Christ before whom He would appear was his righteousness and judged according to this righteousness; thus there was no possible question. That which judged, and that which was before the judgment, were identified; it was one side of the truth, and of the nature of God. The other side is love. Now it is this which consequently puts itself into activity; he persuades others because of this terror. I know few passages which show with more force what is the power of the gospel, and the perfection of justification. But there is a precious operation of this judgment-seat: the apostle realized the manifestation before him; he did not fear being manifested in the future; he was, in fact, manifested to God; conscience perfectly purified, relatively to God, took all its power, and, keeping itself in the presence of God, all that was not according to that presence was in fact manifested in the light. It was necessary, and by grace he had the light of God, to show, to have the consciousness that there was nothing. It is very important to be there. Many things are judged there which often are not judged in a tolerably regular Christian life; and when the conscience is before God and clear, love is free. One knows also in this manner what it is to be bearing about always in one's body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be manifested in our mortal bodies; or rather, in walking thus, it should be so-one is fully in His presence.
Among other things, I have also been struck with chapters 15 and 17 of Genesis. It seems to me that the disinterestedness of Abraham at the end of chapter 14 was the reason that God in grace said to him, “I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward.” At first sight one would have thought that Abraham would have nothing to do but to rejoice in unspeakable joy in thinking that God Himself was his reward; but he says, What are You going to give me? God condescends in grace when it is a question of a true want founded upon a promise. But there is an element which impresses its character upon this grace: “I am thy shield, and thy great reward.” The blessing does not surpass the wants or the personal privileges of Abraham. Quite naturally his heart enters into it and it is the development of the want of the heart according to its proper state. It is an immense favor, but a favor which, in a certain sense, measures itself by the wants of the creature. In chapter 17 God says, “I am God Almighty.” He does not say “Thy.” It is what He is in Himself. “Walk before me and be thou perfect,” upright. Abraham falls down, and God talks with Abraham. He promises him the son, and then reveals to him, like a friend, what He is going to do. Then Abraham, instead of asking for himself, intercedes for others. Also one may remark that chapter 15 does not surpass the Jewish promises; in chapter 17 he is the father of several nations. It is the difference between the goodness of God who binds Himself in grace to us and our needs, and communion with Himself.