Not everyone has life-changing experiences when they are young. When I was 15, I made the most important decision I will ever make in life. I accepted the Lord as my Saviour when I was at a young people’s event in Canada where the Bible was opened and discussed. In my own home, the Bible was read every day and talked about, since my parents are Christians.
But why did it take so long to accept God’s love when I grew up in a Christian home? When I was 8, my oldest brother had an accident that resulted in his death. I became bitter and angry against God. I would yell at Him and cry, but I did that when I was home alone. When I was with others, I acted happy and helped people. I also pretended to be a Christian. When people asked if I was a Christian, my answer was “yes.” If they asked how to be saved, I gave the gospel. Almost everyone thought I was a Christian. But as time passed, my mother, one of my sisters, and one of my aunts knew the truth.
When four or five years had passed since my brother’s death, I thought about suicide. My mother started praying even more. My parents sent me to a Christian therapist for a year, and then to an art therapist for a few sessions. My mother would show me how the Lord loved me and had a purpose for me. She opened the Word of God to show me. But life was still a mess.
Turning Point
When I was 14, I grew fed up with my bitterness and anger against God. I turned to the Lord for help. I asked Him to help me grow okay with my brother’s death and not to be angry so often. At that time, one aunt and one grandmother passed away and went to be with the Lord. God did help, but some things didn’t change.
On October 22, 2010, I was traveling to St. Thomas, Canada, for a young people’s event. I went along with my brother and sister and a friend of ours. The next day, October 23, opened with breakfast. After the meal was a Bible meeting for young people together with singing hymns. The topic of that meeting was “My [daughter], give Me thine heart” (Proverbs 23:2626My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26)). The Lord started me thinking about how my life was still a mess and how I was not fully over my brother’s death (though seven years had already passed). Two weeks before, I had been at a Bible conference in Chicago and heard about a young man who had committed suicide in Florida. His family was known at that Bible conference. One of the meetings was turned into a prayer meeting for that family. It hit me once again how people can die young. (My brother was 16.) But back to October 23. It hit me that I had never accepted Jesus into my heart. I started praying in my mind to the Lord to help me in different areas of my life. In the middle of that prayer, I opened myself (my heart) to the Lord. That day the Lord came into my heart after waiting for so long for me to open the door.
Psalm 51:77Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. (Psalm 51:7) says, “Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” When we ask the Lord to save us (wash us), He cleans us till we are white in the heart. Sin blackens our heart. But how does He wash us? Revelation 1:55And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, (Revelation 1:5) says, “Unto Him that loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood.” We find from many Bible verses that He died for us so we could become clean by His blood. His promise of “The truth shall make you free” (John 8:3232And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. (John 8:32)) is true. You can experience that no matter what age you are.
In I Used to Go to Church you’ll discover another life changed, not by a religion, but by a Person.