For a long time I had known my natural state before God—that I was lost, condemned already, dead in trespasses and sins, without hope and without God in the world. I knew that I justly deserved God’s judgment, and that I had not a rag to stand in in the presence of a holy God, who will have nothing less than a robe of spotless righteousness. The question of eternity gave me much uneasiness, whenever I thought of it, and that was very often.
I went with my dear brother—now with the Lord—to a meeting where he was to preach. I shall never forget how he spoke; it seemed as if every word were addressed to myself. He said that however much he, or anyone, might love us, or desire our salvation, “none can by any means redeem his brother, or give to God a ransom for him” — “powerless, dear friends,” he continued, “am I myself to help you; if your salvation depended upon any fellow creature, you would perish.” Again he quoted his text, and his face grew paler than usual, and I felt that he was yearning over my soul. Then he lovingly set forth the truth as expressed by the latter part of the verse: “Deliver him from going down to the pit, for I have found a ransom.”
Much as I felt the power of that address, I still remained in darkness. I lingered in the building, and several of the Lord’s people came and spoke to me after the meeting, but without effect.
One old gentleman, seeing one and another in conversation with me, asked what was going on. Someone answered, “A soul seeking Christ.”
“O!” said he, “the seeking sinner and the seeking Savior will not be long apart.”
“But,” said I to him, “suppose I were to die tonight?” He looked very straight at me through his spectacles, and turned away without another word, O! my friends, who read this, and are workers for the Lord Jesus, do not be so ready to leave an anxious soul as was that old man!
As we left the building, my brother walked home with a friend, and as I followed them my thoughts kept me company. I well remember standing outside the house, looking up into the clear, starlit sky; when, as though spoken to me by the Son of God, by whom those stars were made and held in their places, His words came into my heart— “He that believeth on Me hath, everlasting life.” (John 6:4747Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. (John 6:47).) “Yes,” I exclaimed, “I believe on Thee, Lord Jesus—but I have not everlasting life.” Again the passage recurred to my mind. “But I am not converted,” I argued in my unbelief. A third time the glorious statement was pressed upon me. Then, to put it from me as being too unlikely, I reasoned, “I don’t feel in any way different from what I did this morning, or last week, so I cannot have everlasting life.” The Holy Spirit once more brought home the same words of Jesus to me, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believeth on Me hath everlasting life.” But still, in my miserable unbelief, I continued to reason that it was impossible. At last I was brought to this: “God made me, and He knows better about me than even I know about myself. He says if I believe on the Lord Jesus I have everlasting life, and I do indeed believe, therefore I must have it if He says so. Thank God, there’s joy in heaven over me, a sinner that repenteth tonight.”
I managed somehow to tell my story to my dear brother when he rejoined me, and he did indeed rejoice with and over me. My joy the next day was increased; and as some of the beautiful passages in Romans 8, came to me, I found myself striking the table with my fist, as though I were repeating them emphatically to an audience.
Reader, notice God’s wondrous grace, abounding over my unbelief. When alone with Him I dared to argue, reason, and question; still He did not leave me in my ignorance to perish; but, in deep compassion, condescended to plead with me in His tender, gracious manner, until He overcame all my unbelief and shed the light of His love into my soul. When I think of that night, and of my former life, I feel what a wonder that I shall be in heaven with Jesus! Blessed be God so it is, all through the riches of His wondrous grace. Jesus bore the awful judgment for me—and I am saved, praise God!
It has been my happy privilege to tell others of Him for about twelve years. I would urge, on my reader to accept now the same precious. Savior, and to rejoice in His Word. “He that believeth on Me hath everlasting life,” because God, the Son, says it.