There are more orphans in this world than people suspect. There is a good chance the next person you meet either is or has been an orphan. Habits formed in the harsh environment of an orphanage may make the process of adoption difficult. Deeply ingrained habits are hard to change. Knowing firsthand of the plight of many orphans and growing up as an orphan myself (I was adopted later in life), I know the hurt and pain these behaviors may cause. These habits are called “orphanage behaviors,” and I would like to briefly describe three of them which are particularly detrimental.
Attachment Disorder
First, orphans often suffer from “attachment disorder.” In this widespread disorder, people attach themselves to things of lesser importance and are unable to form a secure attachment to the One who truly cares for them. They cling to things that can’t bring lasting happiness with great tenacity of heart, while neglecting the one relationship that could bring a deep and abiding joy into their lives. Even after an orphan is adopted and begins to develop healthy relationships, this attachment disorder can cause them to spiral out of control.
Blame-Game
Second, a serious habit, or disorder, common to orphans is the “blame-game” syndrome. In this disorder, it doesn’t matter how red-handed a person is caught doing wrong, they will always blame their action on somebody else. They take little or no personal responsibility for what they do. Because of this, they have a difficult time saying, “I am sorry,” or “Please forgive me,” when it is appropriate. Also, the lack of personal responsibility makes it difficult for individuals to learn the difference between right and wrong, virtue and vice, and the values of an orphanage where anything goes versus the values of their new family that is characterized by purity, dignity and respect.
“What I want, when I want it, as often as I want it,” is the sort of personal code of the orphan, and sadly they seldom ever get what they want. Such a code of action leads them into constant strife with others. Even after they have been adopted, this attitude crops up and robs them of the joy of depending on the One who is all-wise and will never fail them nor let them down.
Stormy Response
A third troubling orphanage behavior is their tendency to react to new situations with loudness, such as loud talking, crying or shouting. It is as if they are unable to give themselves enough time to process new information and must respond to it by shouting or crying. Even when they are quiet on the outside, they may be storming on the inside. Responding with loudness makes it impossible to hear the voice of reason or words of gentle admonition and love, when they are spoken.
The Father’s Voice
How many numberless souls have had the Father whisper to them, “I love you and want you to be My dear child forever,” only to have His beautiful invitation drowned out by all the clamor, noise and unrest that dwells in their hearts.
Oh, that each of us would get quiet in our souls long enough to seriously consider the wonderful and gracious invitation to leave our sins behind and to become one of God’s dear children through faith in Christ.
You see, I am not talking about the 150 million orphans that are growing up without parents in the world. No, I am talking about 7 billion persons in the world who are born in sin, raised in sin, live in sin, and because of sin don’t know the love of God the Father in their lives. Because of sin, they are spiritual orphans living in a state of alienation from God. I was this kind of orphan until by God’s grace I was adopted into God’s family through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
To make a way that poor spiritual orphans might be adopted into His family, God sent His Son into this world. The Lord Jesus went all the way to the cross where in love He died for our sins. “Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:33For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; (1 Corinthians 15:3)). Through His death, those who see the error of their ways can find the forgiveness of sins. “In whom [Christ] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace” (Ephesians 1:77In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; (Ephesians 1:7)). They may obtain this forgiveness through faith in Christ.
Adopted Into God’s Family
These believers in Christ are adopted into God’s family and become His sons and daughters. John 1:1212But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: (John 1:12) reads, “As many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name.” God the Holy Spirit then comes to dwell in their hearts. “Because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father” (Galatians 4:66And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. (Galatians 4:6)). “Abba Father” means something like, “Dear Father.” This term of endearment describes the precious new relationship they have with God the Father.
As sons or daughters of the living God, they will also receive an eternal home in heaven, which those who remain in their sins will not receive. Those who remain spiritual orphans will have no part in the inheritance. Instead, they will spend eternity in the darkness of hell. “These shall go away into everlasting punishment” (Matthew 25:4646And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal. (Matthew 25:46)). An eternity lost in hell is the saddest part about those who remain spiritual orphans.
God is willing to save every soul who repents and turns to Him by faith. He is also willing to show mercy and bring them all the way home to heaven.
However, many, because of an inordinate attachment to the things they can see and the failure to take personal responsibility for their own actions and the loudness and clamor in their souls, which makes it difficult to hear of God’s love, will never come back to Him. Don’t let any of these orphanage behaviors keep you from coming to know God as your loving Father. Instead, come to Christ by faith that you might be one of God’s children forever.
It cost God a lot to make us His children. Consider the price He paid in Sold for a Cigarette.