Rubber Freshness.
One of the ways of telling whether lobsters are fresh or not is to lift their tails. If they spring back quickly into their curled position, the lobsters are fresh; if they remain stretched out, the lobsters are stale.
But a Boston inspector applied this test to some lobsters which a boy was peddling, and found that the tails sprang back with remarkable vigor; so smartly, indeed, as to pinch his fingers. He investigated, and found that the tail of each lobster was fastened to a red rubber band. The lobsters were so stale that the meat was actually poisonous. Without the rubber bands there was not a bit of snap to their tails.
The incident serves to illustrate many other varieties of artificial freshness. For example, some writers, in lieu of real originality and wit, cultivate a snappy style, which fools even themselves into thinking that what they are writing is fresh and vital. Some persons have lost the alertness and vigor of their spirits, if they ever had those qualities, and in their place they have put a surface smartness which deceives all but the shrewdest observers. The lives of not a few rich folks are of the red-rubber variety, apparently full of zest from parties and theaters and sports innumerable, yet really dull and lifeless at the heart.
O, let us remember that over us all there is an Inspector, that He can judge instantly between real life and false life, and that no trick can for an instant pass the scrutiny of His all-seeing eyes.