Social media is a term that is used frequently today, and for our purposes it may be defined as “Web-based communication tools that enable people to interact with each other by sharing and consuming information.” Technically speaking, such entities as radio, television and even the telephone are also part of social media, but generally the term is used today in connection with the Internet and includes things that require the Internet, such as email, texting, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter and various others. Personal computers and cell phones enable the use of these things. Those of us who belong to older generations have had to learn how to use these things “on the fly,” as we did not grow up with them. For our children and grandchildren, they have always been part of their lives.
The Issues
As with all new inventions, social media and the equipment needed to run it cannot be ignored. Our children will be exposed to it and will need to use it; we must teach them how to use it properly. As with most new inventions, there are positives and negatives that we must recognize. We must not allow the negative aspects of these things to obscure their positive uses.
Social media has changed the way children and young people learn and has greatly facilitated home schooling. It has allowed them to interact not only with teachers via the Internet, but also with one another. Social networking has enabled them to work in groups, and thus to learn from their peers as well as from teachers and parents. In our present COVID-19 pandemic, it has also permitted many adults to work from home.
Communication
Young people have also been able to maintain friendships with other young people whom they may not be able to visit. Again, this has been particularly helpful during the COVID-19 pandemic. Sometimes, too, it is the only way to communicate with other young people in areas of the world where postal mail may be unreliable and sometimes nonexistent.
“Zoom” enables meetings with people from around the world, at a very reasonable price. “Skype” has been used for some time, of course, and it also enables those who live at a great distance from one another to connect not only by voice, but with face-to-face contact. Virtual meetings have been most encouraging during the COVID-19 pandemic, when meeting together in the normal way may be prohibited in some areas.
Negative Effects
However, the negative effects of unlimited access to social media are also well-known. Probably the main problem is that of addiction, where texting, playing video games, and simply talking on cell phones may assume such proportions in the lives of children, young people and adults that real-life interactions almost become nonexistent. And if a real-life interaction does take place, the constant distraction of a cell phone nullifies the value of any face-to-face communication.
Real danger is involved too in more than one way. Constant exposure to social media with no limitations will inevitably bring in harmful material, such as sexual content, exposure to predators (who are very clever), and such things as cyberbullying. Someone has commented that if television brought the world into the home, indiscriminate exposure to social media brings us out into the world. This is true, and “all that is in the world ... is not of the Father, but is of the world” (1 John 2:1616For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1 John 2:16)).
Distraction
Another danger is distraction from school work, with a negative effect on concentration and grades. Anxiety and depression can result as well, as the mind is overloaded with extraneous material that often stirs the emotions and prevents proper rest and relaxation.
Finally, the distraction of social media, especially with cell phones and perhaps the constant listening to music, can make young people oblivious to their surroundings. In Toronto, Ontario, Canada, some months ago, a teenager was killed as she walked onto the street into the path of a truck while distracted by loud music coming through her earbuds via her cell phone. Shortly afterward, another teenager drove her car onto a railway crossing (with signals working) and was killed by a train, again because of the distraction of her cell phone.
In view of all this, parents may well ask themselves, How are we to handle all this? As always, we need balance, and the ability to make decisions before the Lord, depending on all the circumstances of the situation. It is impossible in an article like this to cover all the possibilities, but perhaps a few comments may be in order.
Control
First of all, it is most important to allow children to have a real childhood and not to allow them to indulge in social media at a young age. Yes, they may have to learn to use computers and the Internet, for even in younger grades they may be expected to do research and use a computer in their schoolwork. But they do not need to have constant access to it, and time on it should not only be limited, but supervised. This is especially true when the computer is used for recreation. I knew a family who allowed their children to play video games for the same period of time as they practiced their piano lessons. (This usually resulted in no more than a half-hour for video games!)
The “Wait until 8th” slogan was first proposed by a mother in Austin, Texas, U.S.A., urging parents to wait until their children were in eighth grade before allowing them to have their own cell phones, and further, to wait until they were sixteen before allowing them to have access to data. While this may not be practical for every situation, it is one solution that is being followed even by worldly parents.
Example
Second, it is important for parents to set a good example. Do our lives as Christians revolve around social media, even if controlled, or do they revolve around the things of the Lord? Do we take time to read the Word of God and to “use the world, as not disposing of it as [our] own?” (1 Cor. 7:33Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (1 Corinthians 7:3)1 JnD). Is it obvious to our children that “our commonwealth has its existence in the heavens” (Phil. 3:2020For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: (Philippians 3:20) JND) and that our hopes are not in this world? If we as parents are addicted to social media, we cannot expect our children to leave it alone.
Good Relationship
Finally, and perhaps most important, we need to cultivate a good relationship with our children, so that they know us and like to spend time with us. This takes effort, but it is most necessary, for if we have no time for our children, they will soon find worldly avenues for their time and energy. Parents who plan healthy activities for their children (especially outdoor activities) and who take time to read to them, to play with them, and to enjoy their company will find that the desire for constant exposure to social media will diminish.
Outreach
One of the greatest gifts parents can give children is to teach them to reach out to others, to do things for those who are in need, and to be involved in gospel work. There is plenty to be done in this poor world, and there are many within the sphere of our acquaintance who would appreciate a helping hand. This applies to both believers and unbelievers. An old brother, long since with the Lord, used to tell us that it was the Christian who was busy in the work of the Lord who was most unlikely to be attracted by the things of the world. If we are conscious of our responsibility to be taken up with Christ’s interests in this world, we will be happy to use whatever technology is available to further that end, but will not use it to gratify the flesh and waste our time.
Again, we are not attempting to solve all the problems that may face Christian parents with social media. Personal prayer and a seeking of the Lord’s mind are the only ways to deal with it, for individual situations vary greatly. The Lord will give wisdom for each of us in our particular circumstances, if we ask Him.
W. J. Prost