The meeting at——seems to get on solid ground. I mean as to those who are out being clear in their convictions, and that is a great advantage. The numbers have so very greatly multiplied in England, I hardly know whether it could be said of all. But they are going on, thank God, happily. In Ireland and Scotland it is spreading, and the number of laborers is very considerably increased. I have had a tour from London to York in the north, and then down to Taunton, south-west, and had through mercy a good time, the precious Lord with me, and scripture opened. In central England we had a very nice general meeting for two days, and the other two, York and Taunton, were very useful. As to doors for work, there is no lack of them. In Germany, too, the work has greatly spread, and they claim a visit.
I feel, dear brother, more than ever that all is vanity, but what is forever. We all know it, but how foolish all else will seem when we meet the blessed Lord! Yet you have no idea how poor a workman I feel myself to be. It is not false modesty. I have no doubt of the truths I hold, and feel the word of God daily clearer. But I see so little courage to deal with the mass around me, which yet heart and head in a measure goes out after-so little dealing with men, so much with truth, precious truth, Christ's truth I know, and what the church wants; but I feel those who go evangelizing so much my superiors, and yet I see so much, when I see the work, that is hardly like Paul's. Yet God overlooks want of completeness in it where there is earnestness. However, I am His servant, but when I see the courage and zeal of such as are as Paul, I am ashamed of myself. I do not think of authority, but the courage that animated him, and the single-eyedness to Christ; teaching is constantly claimed from me too, and often when my heart would be at work with souls, with souls that have not Christ. I am happy enough in the sense of His love, but I am not serving as I ought. Yet the church needs building up, and truth, getting back to "that which was from the beginning"; and I am drawn between His people and their state who know Him, and those who do not. They are all His. Sometimes I think I do not draw myself enough from claims on me, to serve directly from Him as He may send. However, we are His servants, and can count upon His love ever gracious. The having died with Him occupies a large place in the mind of faith to me just now. It is dying for our sins so as to be forgiven and justified; but then our dying with Him and alive through Him was not to be forgiven, but delivered, and then also in Him before God. Rom. 5:11, 1211And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement. 12Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: (Romans 5:11‑12) being the great division of the two former points- chapter 5:1-11 The blessedness of one, chapter 8 the blessedness of the other. Then I add Colossians as risen wall, then Ephesians, sitting above in; but enough.
I have had such attention, and earnest hearers (as I think) now, and in great numbers. That work I am happy at, anything for Christ's people. I have been unspeakably happy lately, yet as making me nothing in the thought of being the object of God's love: I had been seeking right affections towards Him-all right-but the thought that He loved me flowed in on me in joy and peace; and peace is a very deep thing, like a river. Yet I have a sadly cold and dull heart.
Give my kindest love to all around you. My absence from America has only made me feel how much I am attached to and interested in it and the beloved ones there. Peace be with you, beloved brother, and may He bless you in your family too.
Your affectionate brother in our blessed Lord.
[October] 1868.