FROM my childhood I thought I was in a general sense a Christian, but it was more a matter of habit and custom than of personal conviction. When the time came for me to start working, I had set my heart on a certain job abroad. A friend had told me what a great opportunity it would be. "Over there," he said, "the skies rain gold—and life is very pleasant."
It was such a bright prospect that I felt no effort could be too great to win it, so I worked hard to prepare myself for the job and prayed earnestly for help and guidance.
There was to be an examination before I could be accepted. I grew increasingly hopeful as the day drew near. I was long on my knees in prayer the morning of the exam. The questions all seemed easy to me, and I left the room confidently. The job was as good as mine!
But I failed! Another had even higher marks than I, and was accepted in my place.
I was completely baffled. Work and prayer had been in vain; all I had trusted in had failed me. The effect on me was tragic, and I just banished religion from my experience.
For many days I was under a dark cloud of depression. Then, accepting defeat, I tried for and got a job at home. It was not my glamorous overseas job, but I soon grew used to it.
Then war broke out. The foreign land to which I had hoped to go was overrun, the business wiped out, and the man who took the place I had hoped for was never heard from again.
The refusal of my prayer had saved me. I could only feel it was the hand of God that closed that door, and penitently I turned to Him for forgiveness. In prayer and quiet thought and in reading my Bible carefully, I found my way to the cross. I saw myself a sinner before God, and I accepted the salvation offered through the suffering and death of our Lord Jesus Christ.
From that day I have enjoyed a wonderful sense of peace. I have proved that a life of obedience to God, lived in prayerful trust, is a life guided by divine wisdom and divine love. It may often be contrary to our wishes and to what we think is right for us, but God's refusal will always prove best in the end.
The Apostle Paul heard the Lord's assurance when his prayer was not answered: My grace is sufficient, and our Lord Himself in Gethsemane prayed, Not My will, but Thine. So too we must pray if we would be guided in the highest and best way, and since that memorable crisis I have always prayed:
"Thy way, not mine, Lord,
However dark it be!
Lead me by Thine hand—
Choose out the path for me."