629. Espousals

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Espousal among the Hebrews was something more than what a mere marriage engagement is with us. It was considered the beginning of marriage, was as legally binding as marriage itself, and could not be broken off save by a bill of divorce. Hence we find that Joseph is called the “husband” of Mary (vs. 19). The betrothal was usually determined by the parents or brothers of the parties, and the engagement was made between a friend or legal representative of the bridegroom and the father of the bride. The espousals were made very early in life, though marriage did not take place before the bride was twelve years old. Even when the age was suitable, the marriage was not consummated for some time after the betrothal. See Judges 14:33Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well. (Judges 14:3). At least a year, or sometimes more, elapsed between the betrothal and the marriage of a maiden, to give time for preparing her outfit. In case of a widow marriage might take place thirty days after espousal. The betrothal was usually accompanied by a feast in the house of the bride.
The engagement, to be binding, must be either by written contract, or by the reception of presents by the bride from the bridegroom. When Abraham’s servant received the consent of Rebekah’s father and brother to make her the wife of his master’s son, he presented to the maiden valuable gifts. See Genesis 24:5353And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things. (Genesis 24:53). The reception of these made the contract binding. The bride remained at her father’s house until the time of marriage, when the bridegroom came after her. This custom is referred to in Deuteronomy 20:77And what man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her? let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man take her. (Deuteronomy 20:7). Meanwhile communication between her and the bridegroom was kept up by means of the “friend of the bridegroom.” See note on John 3:2929He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. (John 3:29) (#749).