IT was the 22nd February, 1884, and our little family had just sat down to tea, when my wife gave the baby, about twelve months old, a bite of the bread and butter that she was eating. The poor little child began to cough and choke badly. I took her from the terrified mother, and turning her face downwards, gave her several slaps on the back, hoping thus to bring up the bit of bread. But all without effect! My wife nearly frantic with fright, again took the baby imploring me to run quickly for the doctor. I rushed off, and in about ten minutes returned with him,' but only to hear him pronounce life to be extinct.
I shall never forget how we felt, at the loss of our precious child. I was not only heartbroken, but brought face to face with death, and it was a terror to me. The question arose in my mind, "If God took me, like that dear child, without a moment's warning, where should I be?” My heart condemned me—I could see what a vile sinner I was in the sight of a holy God, and knew that I was going down to hell as fast as time could take me, in spite of all my respectability and my church-going. I became very anxious as to how I could get right before God, for if ever there was a poor, miserable sinner, I knew I was one. I thought I would go to church more frequently, and say my prayers regularly; but the more I tried to turn good the further away I seemed to get. I was months in this miserable state, and no one but God knows what anguish of soul I passed through.
In His mercy He led a lady in the village to open a mission for the preaching of the gospel to haymakers and others. After a few weeks I heard what a number of people of the village were attending, and I determined I would go out of mere curiosity. So I said to my wife, “Let us go up to Mrs. B.'s room this evening. I hear a lot of talk about it." And she willingly agreed to go with me.
It was God in His great mercy that led me there, though I did not know it at the time. An earnest man of God from the Evangelization Society preached that night. I never before heard the salvation of God put so plainly and so simply. He seemed to pull away every prop of self-righteousness from under me, saying it was not our church nor chapel-going that could give a poor sinner rest, but Jesus, and Jesus only, that could do that. As he preached I trembled at the word of God. The preacher seemed to know all my career. After he had finished the address he came down from the platform, and walking up to me he held out his hand, and asked me how I was.
“I am all right, sir," I answered.
“Are you on the Lord's side?” he then asked.
“No, I am not," I slowly answered.
“What a solemn thing to own!" he said seriously, “for if you are not on the Lord's side, you are eternally lost; just think of that, after God has provided a perfect salvation to every poor sinner. If you have hitherto rejected Christ, I do urge on you to take Him at Once as your Savior, for delays are dangerous, and you know not how much longer you may have salvation offered to you."
He then asked me to stop to the prayer meeting, which I refused to do.
“If you will not stop and let me pray with you, will you at least give me your address," he asked kindly, "so that I may be able to write to you? "
“I doubt, sir, that you would do me any good if you did," I answered.
"But," he urged, God might give me a word that might be the means of bringing you on the Lord's side."
And so, after a lot of persuasion, I told him my address, but I never heard from him. However, I believe he wrote to the lady, Mrs. B., asking her to visit me, for a day or so after I met her in the street coming to my house. She asked me if I would come back to my cottage, for she wished to have a little talk with me, in which she might help in pointing me to the Savior. I refused to go back with her, much as I felt to need the proffered help. Then she kindly asked me to come up to her house and have a talk, but that I also refused to do, feeling that I could not open my heart to anyone. She then shook hands with me, and turned away, evidently very much disappointed.
The whole of that time God's Holy Spirit was striving with me, and I was as wretched as I could be. I had been told that if I believed in Jesus it would be all right, but where I made the mistake was, in wanting to feel saved before I had believed.
I was on night-duty at that time, and eight days after I had heard the evangelist I came off duty at 6. a.m. and went to bed in a very miserable state about my soul. I woke up at 10 p.m., and never shall I forget it! The whole of my sins came up before me, and I saw them in all their blackness as I had never done before, and something seemed to say to me, "Hell is your doom; you are too big a sinner, God cannot pardon such sins as yours." I could see what an awful eternity I was hastening to, and I lay in bed and cried like a child. At last I could stand it no longer, so I jumped out of bed and fell on my knees, and with many tears humbled myself before God, owning myself a poor helpless, hell-deserving sinner. Then, all of a sudden, Jesus was revealed to me by faith, hanging on that cruel cross, and it was as though I could see the blood trickling down His holy face. I cried out, “Lord, I do believe that Thou didst die for me." The moment I believed that Jesus died and rose again for me, I passed from death into life-eternal, and joy and peace shone into my dark, benighted soul. Praise God, I knew that I was eternally saved, through simple faith in the finished work of Christ on Calvary's cross. I could have skipped about the room in my new-found joy! I felt like a bird that had been snared, and got its liberty again. You can imagine how glad that poor bird would be! I was in the powerful snare of Satan, and was unable to deliver myself from his fetters, but the moment I looked to the divine Savior, the blessed Lord Jesus, my bands were broken asunder.
I got back into bed again, and thought to myself; “Oh! if I could only die now, and go straight to heaven!" For I feared that when I got out with my old companions they would draw me back again into the world, but I thought I heard a voice saying to me, " As thy day so shall thy strength be." Praise God, I have found Him as good as His promise. Jesus not only saves but He keeps.
Now, as I lay in bed, it soon came into my mind that I must tell my wife of the blessed change that had come to me; so I knocked on the floor, and she came up and asked me what I wanted. I can tell you that it was hard for me to muster up courage to tell my wife what had happened, for Satan does not like us to confess Christ, and does his utmost to shut our mouths. But at last I managed to stammer out, “Mary, come over here to me; I want to tell you that God has saved my soul, and pardoned my sins." And as soon as I had confessed my Lord another flood of joy burst into my soul. My dear wife did not know what to say when she heard such words, and saw me so full of joy. I think that she thought I had gone mad, as somebody told her that I should have the religious mania, and she was evidently frightened that so it had come to pass. But I was not mad, only I could realize what the apostle Paul meant when he said, “Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of His dear Son." (Col. 1:1313Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: (Colossians 1:13).)
That same evening there was to be a meeting at the mission room. So I called upon a comrade, and told him what Jesus had done for me, and entreated him to come with me to the meeting, and, thank God, he got saved that night whilst listening to the address.
I can testify that Jesus is very precious to me, and He has often given me the privilege of speaking of Him. Policemen have good opportunities to say a word for Jesus, and I do believe that I shall meet many a poor tramp in heaven to whom I have spoken of the Savior’s love.
I cannot close my simple story without a word of warning to any parents who will read this, and who have got some dear little ones gone to be with Jesus. If, my readers, you are unsaved, what a solemn thought it is that, if you do not come to Christ, you are parted from those dear children for ever. I do plead with you in the name of Jesus to be reconciled to God through the death of His Son. And there may be some readers who have little ones that God has given them, and who are still travelling down the broad road that leadeth to destruction, and their children are following in their steps. My prayer to God for you is that you may stop and think what you are doing, lest, when you get to hell, your children will turn round and curse you for taking them there. Dear parents, be wise, and flee to Christ, who is waiting to save you now. You see what He has done for me, and He is able and willing to do the same for you. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." G. M.
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To Your Children