Personal forgiveness refers to offenses against us by believers (or others), which we forgive. Administrative forgiveness has to do with that which is done before God when we cancel the debt owed by another. The assembly also does that when judging the matter of an offending believer—seeing repentance and then effecting restoration (Matt. 18:1818Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. (Matthew 18:18)).
If the offender asks our forgiveness, it is a happy thing. But if not, it is of no profit to dwell on the matter. (“Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, saith the Lord”; Rom. 12:17-2117Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17‑21).) One can minimize contact with an unrepentant offender if it is defiling or unprofitable. Regarding “forgiveness” (which may be difficult), we need to look in our heart and know the power and ugliness of sin. We can then leave all evil done against us with the Lord.
The Lord’s Instructions
The Lord Jesus tells the Jews that they were to forgive their enemies and not hold to “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” attitude of revenge (Matt. 5:43-4443Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. 44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; (Matthew 5:43‑44)). He instructed them rather to be willing to forgive (understand and overlook) their enemies’ behavior—not kill them. So, too, a disciple of Christ is to emulate the Lord Jesus in not retaliating. We ought never to pursue vengeance.
The dictionary says forgiveness is, literally, “extreme or uttermost giving, ceasing to feel resentment, and granting pardon or canceling debt.” This can be done by saying, “I am not the avenger in this matter. ” A child of God can certainly leave all such affairs with his or her Father (see Rom. 12:17-2117Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17‑21)) and, instead, minister good for a witness.
God’s Forgiveness
God forgives individual sinners who repent. Our Lord on the cross showed the spirit of forgiveness in beautiful perfection when He said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Now each individual sinner may seek God’s full and free forgiveness for his sins.
Christian Humility
The Christian should realize that the evil towards them was generated from the sinful nature of man—by the flesh of another. It is also good to realize that “but for the grace of God, there go I.” A Christian is one who has a new nature—the very life of Christ—though the flesh is ever ready to act.
God forgives and restores a believer who sins when he humbles himself and confesses (1 John 1:99If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)). We, by the power of the life of Christ in us, have the ability to act in that spirit of forgiveness towards one who has offended us. And certainly we ought always to pray for the offender (Luke 6:2828Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. (Luke 6:28)).
Limits of Personal Forgiveness
It is important, however, to understand that a believer cannot forgive one for offenses done to another. That forgiveness can only be carried out by the offended party. Our responsibility to forgive concerns offenses done to ourselves.
Some Aspects of Personal Forgiveness
“Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:3232And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)). There are some helpful aspects to remember about personal forgiveness.
2. We can show forgiveness in simply overlooking a matter (if it is inconsequential—the result of the flesh, which we all have, acting; see Col. 3:1313Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (Colossians 3:13)). It then remains only a matter between the offender and God.
R. L. DeWitt