Now, let’s turn to 1st Corinthians 7:39, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” It was those last three words that I wanted to speak about. The Christian marriage relationship is to be a relationship “in the Lord.” Paul has two expressions that he uses in his epistles; one is “in Christ,” and the other is “in the Lord.” It’s quite an instructive study to follow how and when he uses them.
“In Christ” designates our position before God. To be “in Christ,” which every believer is, is to be in Christ’s place before God as far as our individual acceptance is concerned. John’s epistle says, “As He is, so are we in this world” (1 John 4:1717Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. (1 John 4:17)). As the Lord Jesus now is, resting in all the favour and acceptance of God at His right hand, so are we in that same place of acceptance, even though we are down here in this world. His acceptance is the measure of ours. On the other hand, “in the Lord,” refers to acknowledging the Lord’s authority over us in our lives in a practical way.
Note: Paul does not present Christian marriage as something that should be “in Christ” merely, but rather, “in the Lord!” This is something higher. All Christians are “in Christ,” but not all Christians live their lives “in the Lord.” If Paul had said, “Let her marry in Christ,” it would mean she was to marry another believer, and nothing more. It wouldn’t matter how that person was going on, just as long as it was another child of God. But he doesn’t put it on that level. Note also: he doesn’t say, “She is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only let it be in the meeting.” Why? I thought we are supposed to marry someone in the meeting. Paul doesn’t say that because it is quite possible to marry someone in the meeting and yet it might not be a marriage that is “in the Lord.” Just because someone is “in the meeting” doesn’t automatically mean that they are seriously trying to live under the Lordship of Christ. Hence, if a Christian marries another believer who is not necessarily going on with the Lord, it would be a marriage “in Christ,” but not a marriage “in the Lord.”
Dear young people, we want to see each one of you here at Lassen marry “in the Lord”—a marriage where both persons acknowledge the claims of the Lord in their lives. Then you’ll have a happy and fruitful marriage with the blessing of the Lord. In the last 30 or 40 years there has been much divorce in Christian marriages, and it’s because those marriages were not marriages “in the Lord.” The world has gotten in, in some way, and one partner, or both, may not be recognizing the Lord’s authority over them, and it has led to trouble.
Paul says, in verse 28, “Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.” This verse tells us that there can be “trouble in the flesh” in marriage. And it’s because there are two wills coming together, and sparks can fly at times. But what Paul is saying here is that there need not be that kind of trouble. He says that he can “spare” us. Now as we had in our last meeting, when Paul refers to himself it might just be a personal reference, but often it represents his doctrine—what he held and stood for. In this case, I believe that it is the latter. If people followed Paul’s teaching as to headship in marriage, they could be delivered from a lot of “trouble in the flesh.” We will not go into that now; but suffice it to be said that there is a remedy here in what Paul teaches for problems in the marriage relationship.