I read a remarkable incident the other day in the case of an old farmer. He was supposed to be dying, and a Christian was asked to go and see him. The Christian found it very difficult to speak of Christ to him, as he was so occupied with his ailments and the affairs of his farm. When at last he did speak to him about his soul, and of the Lord Jesus Christ, he found him indifferent. He made some caress remark, and talked again about his cows and other things. Several visits were made with the same result. The Christian was civilly received, but there was no taste for Christ. The old man, ill as he was, had no interest in anything beyond this world. The Christian left and six months later he had a message from the old farmer, telling him that he was saved. On calling to see him, he found him looking well and strong, and his face was radiant with happiness.
“The Lord has taken me in hand,” he said, “He has healed my body, and He has saved my soul.”
I asked him to tell me how it happened. I will relate what he then told me, as far as I can remember it, in his own words: ―
“You remember.” he said, “how stupid I used to be when you came to talk to me last autumn. I couldn’t see what you meant, and it all seemed something far above me, that was out of the reach of my mind altogether. I went to bed one night lust as stupid as ever, a poor, lost, dark sinner, as I was. Then I dreamed that I awoke — but, strange to say, I found that I was gone! I had no self left. There was the room, but I was not in it. Out of the windows I saw nothing. All was gone! There was only a barren wilderness. The crops were gone; the cows were gone; and, more strange than all that, I was gone, too. Then I thought, what is there left? Is there nothing that is not gone? And it came before my mind as clear as the sun in the sky that there is One who could not be gone, and He seemed to fill heaven and earth — only Himself and no other! It was the Lord Jesus Christ that remained! Yes, I said to myself, ‘I am gone! there is only Christ!’ And then I saw that was just what I needed; for the poor, wretched sinner that was such a trouble to me was not there at all, and the One who was there was perfect, and God was looking at Him―not at me, but at Him. Yes, God put me out of sight, and Christ stood in my place before God, and God was satisfied. And my joy was so great I awoke, and I called out aloud, ‘The Lord has shown me that I am gone, and there is Christ instead of me!’
“Now,” he continued, “I see why I didn’t understand you before. All the time you talked to me, I kept thinking, ‘Oh, yes, that’s all very nice, but somehow I must do something myself, I must pray, or repent, or do something or other on my part.’ And now the Lord has shown me that not only He didn’t want my doings, but He didn’t want me. He had put an end to me, and Christ was there instead. What more could He want? Christ stands before God for me, and God is satisfied with Him — perfectly satisfied — and I have nothing to do but own that it is so and thank and praise Him. How simple it all is when you see it! But I might have gone on till now if the Lord had not come to my help. There, now!” he said, correcting himself, “you see I can’t even speak of it right; I said that wrong. He didn’t come to my help at all, for He did it all Himself, and put me clean out of sight, for I was not to have any hand in it. It is a blessed, blessed thing, too, that now I know not only I am nothing, but I have nothing. I used to think a deal about the farm and say to myself, ‘These are my fields, and those are my cows,’ and so on. Well, now, when I go about I think to myself, ‘If the Lord were to take me this minute there’s not one of these things belongs to me; they would all be just nothing to me at all.’ But I have Christ, and nothing but Christ! What a thought! He is mine, and He is mine forever.”
It was indeed wonderful to hear these words from the lips of a man who had, by power of mind learned nothing; but now, by the teaching of the Holy Ghost, he knew the glorious truth we are so slow to learn (and perhaps the most intelligent are the slowest in learning it) that “I am gone, and Christ is there instead.” From this time, a year and a half ago, Christ indeed seemed to him to “fill heaven and earth.”
And so it was to the rest of his life here. And when he was dying, he said “Nothing but happiness; just think what it is to be going to Him! Any moment now I may go, and be with Him forever. There’s only one thing about it I mind, and that is that I can’t speak loud enough to tell them all what the Lord is, as 1 should like; but I can praise Him myself, and soon shall praise Him much better. I’ve no pain, and nothing but joy.”