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“At the root of every sin is the doubt in the heart of man as to the goodness of God.” H. E. Hayhoe (slightly revised).
God made men with eyes, and we respond strongly to visual stimuli. God didn’t make a mistake when He made you and me that way. And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. Genesis 1:31.
“Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?” Rom 9:20. You are God’s special creation. God didn’t make a mistake when He made your hormones.
Our hormones are like gasoline. They promote fun and excitement but are also really dangerous when misused. Many men wish they didn’t have to face temptation. God didn’t drop the ball when He made you. But we need to learn how to manage all those hormones His way in order to enjoy life and stay safe.
Every man that walks the earth is prone to pornography addiction because we come naturally wired to be excited by the sight of the female body. God is a very good creator and He did an amazing job making the female of the species. “The woman is the glory of the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:7. When we see the female form it releases hormones in our brain that are very exciting and intoxicating. God made it that way. But we get in trouble when we abuse what God created. We take that clean, pure, beneficial hormone rush that God created and exchange it for vile affections that drag us to the lowest forms of sin and defilement.
A man may look at the naked body of his dear wife all day and it may do him good. Looking at pornography actually chemically melts the brain. Michael Pearl of No Greater Joy Ministries has put out an informative DVD called “The Science of Addiction and the Brain.” He describes in layman’s terms how the brain works to bring itself back into balance. When massive amounts of feel good hormones are released, the brain releases chemicals that bring back balance. Your body reacts to pornography like a chemical drug addiction, and just like a drug addict needs heavier and heavier doses to attempt to get near the feeling of the last use, over time you have to use more and more corrupt material to attempt to get the same feeling. This balancing act actually melts away your brain. In the video it shows FMRI images of a man’s brain that was a heavy porn user and you can see how his brain has been reduced in size. It is scary true (the DVD is available from Nogreaterjoy.org.).
A once highly respected judge in a small town was convicted of child molestation. He lost his career, his respect, and his freedom. He threw his whole life away. When asked how he could have stooped so low, he admitted that it all started by looking at a pornographic image and not looking away. Sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go and it will cost you more than you ever wanted to pay.
Men, this issue is very serious indeed. This is not something we can trifle with. Porn breaks communion with Christ, and then we are weak and may fall into any sin.
Pornography is not an acceptable outlet for your hormone drive. It is a perversion of God’s beautiful gift. Even if you aren't married yet, it isn’t an acceptable thing to occupy you while waiting for God to give you a wife. God created you for intimacy with one woman for a lifetime. Those images will haunt you and interfere with your emotional connection with your wife. Do you really want to reduce your joy in intimacy? Pornography will warp and twist your soul. You will pay a terrible price. Don’t think that if you are seeking to satisfy your addiction, your addiction will somehow magically go away when you get married. Using pornography is walking in darkness. A pure and clean and precious wife will be completely turned off by your perverted fantasies. She wants you to love her and her body and soul not be engaging with twisted images in your mind. God gave you your hormones and He will give you a wife if and when the time is right. Just trust Him. It will be worth the wait! If you are married and you have more testosterone than your wife can deal with you must take your need to the Lord. Seek to meet her needs for love and affection, and let her know about your needs for sex. Whenever you have a lack take your need to the Lord. He will provide for you. “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19.
You can’t win playing the devil’s game with him. Don’t play. The devil is trying to destroy you. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” John 10:10.
We are in a spiritual battle. The enemy of our souls doesn’t just take prisoners, and he doesn’t just want to wound you, he wants to destroy you. “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness.” Ephesians 6:10-14.
The breastplate of righteousness is having a clean conscience. When we are right with God and in communion with Him we can stand against anything because He is strong. If I am standing up against a wall no one can push me over. If I’m in the middle of the room lots of people are stronger than I am and can push me around.
There is pleasure in sin for a season but then you have to pay the price. The price is way too high. Often sin occurs because we inappropriately respond to a legitimate need. We really are supposed to restrain the flesh and keep it in the place of death. “Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.” Romans 6:11-13. “And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” Galatians 5:24. “For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Galatians 6:8.
My dad used to visit the Walla Walla Penitentiary. He told the story of an inmate who shared his experience as a Christian. He described his life as having two dogs inside him, one white dog and the other a black dog. When asked which of them had the upper hand, he quietly responded, “the one that I feed the most.” Brothers, each one of us has within us two natures, a divine life given by the Spirit of God (that delights to please Him and cannot sin), and our flesh. The one we feed the most will have the upper hand. We need to feed our divine nature, and starve the flesh to the point of death. Yes, it is true that we will never be rid of the flesh this side of glory, but when it is starved it has very little power in our life.
James 1: 12-16 shows how lust leads to sin: “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren.” We sin because we choose to.
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.
“Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?” Romans 6:16. “Christ has set us free in freedom; stand fast therefore and be not held again in a yoke of bondage.” Galatians 5:1 Darby.
Habits are regular patterns of behavior. In order to break a habit you have to break a behavior pattern. You will be able to break it when you detest the sin and desire the Lord. These chains are incredibly strong. I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy, but I will tell you that it’s going to be worth it.
Repent (rethink). Agree with God that pornography is wrong and that by engaging in it you are losing God’s very best for you and sowing a terrible crop that you will one day have to reap.
Ask the Lord for help. “Wherefore He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them.” Hebrews 7:25. “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” Psalm 50:15.
Break your bad habits. Get away from where you see stimulating images. Get rid of your “smart” phone and get a dumb phone if that’s what it takes. What is communion with the Lord worth to you? Don’t go to movies, don’t watch TV, maybe stay completely off a computer. WIT—whatever it takes! We are talking about the state (not your standing before God) of your never dying soul. “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul’ Mark 8:36 “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.” 1 Peter 2:11. If we are going to give account for every idle word and thought, think how we will have to answer to the Lord for dealing in filth and corruption?
When you see a pretty girl thank the Lord for her and her beauty. Handle her in your mind with all purity as if she was your sister. How you see people is how you treat them.
When you sin, ask yourself what led up to it. Were you tired, scared, worried or stressed? Habits are patterns of behavior. Break the habit. Get out of the cycle as soon as you notice that you are in it. Don’t be alone, cry out to the Lord and to someone else for help.
One of the best ways to deal with continual failure is to rehearse in your mind all the events. Lay them all out in a row, before the Lord. This led to this. Work through what needs to change to break the cycle. When this happens, then this needs to happen. For example, I always used to overeat at my Dad’s house when we went to visit. Every time I went I would overeat and be mad at myself later. I worked through in my mind why I did that. I planned beforehand that when the meal would be over I would not sit and eat chips and salsa. So when the meal was over I ran my new program of choosing to not eat chips and salsa instead of the old program of just eating because food was available. I got up and went and did something else in the living room. This process retrains our subconscious mind. It’s just like pilots in training in a flight simulator. They do the same thing over and over until the stimulus gives them the desired response every time.
It takes a good habit to break a bad habit. Nature abhors a vacuum. You can’t depressurize a house and keep it clean no matter how hard you try. Dirt always sneaks in. You can keep it clean by keeping it pressurized with fresh pure air. Leaks always allow infiltration in a vacuum.
If we focus solely on fighting the bad we will fail. As we push something away something else will immediately come in its place. We need to be filled to overflowing with the love of the Lord. When we are full, the temptations lose most of their power.
Feed on good food. You are what you eat physically, emotionally and spiritually. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8.
Be in the Word every day. “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12. “Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 3:17-18. As we are in His presence we will be changed to be more like Him. We will start to think and to act like Him.
Be in prayer every day. “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7. “My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.” Psalm 5:3. ”Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.” Ephesians 6:18. “But as for me, Jehovah, I cry unto thee, and in the morning my prayer cometh before thee. Psalm 88:13 Darby.
As we speak to the Lord and own our dependence upon Him it strengthens us. “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” Psalm 50:15.
Get an accountability partner. “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17.
Be grateful. When your soul is full of Christ and all He has done for you it’s far more difficult for temptation to even get to you. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
You can’t abide in the darkness and walk in the light. “If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth.” 1 John 1:6. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20.
God has the very best for us. We get it when we obey him. You can do it with Him. “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it.
May the Lord richly bless you as you truly seek to pursue God above all else. You are 100% responsible for your thoughts and actions. Right now is the first day in the rest of your life. God has given it to you as a gift. It’s your move.
Your brother by His matchless Grace;
Matthew Richerzhagen
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