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As Ellen herself said: "Break the snare and endure anything but the wretchedness of an unscriptural marriage."
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The story which you are about to read is true. Written long ago, (author unknown), it has been rewritten for readers today. Literary styles do change, but truth does not; and it is a sad fact that the truth involved in this story is still totally relevant for today.
Ellen was young when her father died. Her mother raised her carefully in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” By the time Ellen was eighteen, she had noticed that her mother’s health was failing, despite the medical attention she was receiving. Her mother, also aware of her declining health, and now even more aware of the shortness and seriousness of life, often spoke to Ellen about the importance of a right relationship with God.
These conversations bothered Ellen. She knew that her mother had something that she did not have; but she could not understand her mother’s interest in reading the Bible and in prayer. She considered herself to be a Christian and attributed the differences between her mother and herself to their difference in age. Before she died, Ellen’s mother gave Ellen her Bible and committed her to the Lord.
Now, Ellen was alone—and lonely. She had friends, but her friends and their activities did not satisfy her heart. Not only did she miss her mother’s companionship, she was unhappy in herself.
She remembered how her mother had found comfort in her Bible. Looking at the many passages which her mother had marked, she wondered why the same passages seemed so meaningless and unsatisfying to her. At last, she asked herself, “Is not my apathy a part of the burden which the Lord invites me to cast on Him?” In her distress, she began to earnestly seek the Lord.
She was not disappointed. As the weeks passed, the Lord increasingly revealed Himself to her in His Word. He drew her to Himself. The Scriptures became full of interest as He taught her by His Spirit. There she found what satisfied her hungry heart and thirsty soul. Her life was changed. She enjoyed fellowship with God and spoke of it to her friends and acquaintances. They laughed as she faithfully warned them of the emptiness and danger of life without Him, but their ridicule did not stop her.
However, something (or, rather, someone) else (called Robert) did. After being introduced by a friend, it did not take him long to conclude that Ellen was almost his ideal. The only fault he saw in her was that she was too fanatical—but he felt he could deal with that.
Ellen’s friends congratulated her when they saw that Robert was interested in her. In fact, it would have been hard for Ellen not to be interested in him. He was attractive, wealthy, well-educated, well-behaved, and well-recommended. Ellen saw a lot of pleasant possibilities in him. She knew well that God had said, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers,” but she also knew that others had violated God’s order and were still considered Christians. Robert was so good—he seemed almost a Christian. She began to reason that perhaps she could become the means of his becoming a true child of God. Was that not a noble purpose?
As she argued with her conscience and hesitated to obey the Lord in breaking off the relationship, her enjoyment of Scripture and her freedom in prayer declined. She began to feel confused; and she was increasingly influenced by her feelings rather than led by the light of God’s Word. Under pressure by well-meaning friends and family (and, of course, by Robert), she married him.
The glow faded quickly. Although her husband was kind to her and she had every material comfort, she found that there was no place for her Lord in her new home. When she tried to bring Him and His claims into conversations, her husband teased her. If she did not immediately yield to his teasing, he became irritated. For the sake of peace, she felt forced to be quiet about the things of God.
Robert’s friends, of course, were often welcomed into the home. Their influence, in addition to Robert’s, continually worked on her to involve her in their activities and interests. Gradually, she yielded to their influence and joined them in things which her conscience still told her were ultimately useless and unsatisfying. Her Christian friends were dismayed by her change of habits and felt less and less free to visit her. When they did visit her, her lack of response discouraged them from visiting her again. Ellen herself was restless. She could not be comfortable before the Lord, and she could not be comfortable elsewhere.
So passed nine years. Ellen now had
four children. Jane, the oldest, was about eight years old and preferred her mother’s company to that of other children. She noticed that her mother had a Bible which she still occasionally read. Jane was fascinated with it and often asked questions which brought tears to Ellen’s eyes. Ellen became sick and was kept away from her children, but Jane crept in to pray for her mother. Before leaving her, she gave Ellen a kiss. Within hours, Jane was sick; and within a week she was dead.
Her own nearness to death had prepared Ellen to accept Jane’s death. As soon as she had sufficiently recovered, Robert took her away where she could be quiet and recover further—and think. Ellen now longed to enjoy again the peace, rest, and happiness she had once known. While walking near the sea one day, she took shelter from a sudden storm in the cottage of a coast guard. The storm was fierce, and part of the cliff near her fell. Yet, during the height of the storm, the coast guard sang the old hymn,
Jesus, lover of my Soul,
Let me to Thy bosom fly;
While the billows round me roll,
While the tempest still is high.
The coast guard noticed Ellen’s distress and spoke to her of the sufficiency of Christ as our Refuge and of the value and benefits of walking with God. Ellen went home with a fresh determination to walk with the Lord apart from the world.
Surprisingly, she found Robert himself so shaken by their recent experiences that he was quite willing to make some changes. He admitted that he still did not see things as she saw them; but, for a while he joined her in reading and discussing the Scriptures.
One day, while reading the Bible, he discovered these words: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). He asked her if she had been aware of those words before she married him. Sighing, she admitted that she had. That ended his interest. He concluded that if Ellen had been sincere in marrying him, as he did not doubt she was, then by marrying him she had essentially recognized him as equally Christian—and there-fore further discussion of differences were pointless. Ellen’s disobedience had undermined her witness.
Though Ellen tried again and again to renew his interest in spiritual things, Robert was now able to satisfy himself that he was as safe as she was. Her renewed zeal for God now alarmed him; and he began to do what he could to counter her influence on the children. He wanted them to learn to enjoy what he enjoyed, and for five years he had his way, as Ellen struggled to deal with his worldly influence on herself and on the children. Her anguish grew as she saw her children increasingly influenced against the One she loved most of all, by the one she loved most on earth.
Then God touched Robert with a hemorrhage. It was a close call, but Robert lived. Soon, however, it was obvious that he would not live much longer. Ellen redoubled her efforts to show him his need of Christ and salvation; but Robert was not interested. He felt he was good enough and hoped that she would not fill the minds of their children with the things which so preoccupied her mind. He died as he had lived—without peace, but self-satisfied. Ellen had no comfort regarding him. She had invested fifteen years of her love and life in one who was gone—forever.
When the will was read, she discovered that Robert had entrusted the education of the children to his brother. This brother was equally determined that the children should not be trained according to Ellen’s views. They were sent to private schools to be trained according to Robert’s family’s standards. He admitted that Ellen had been a remarkably good wife in all areas except one, but she was not considered a fit mother because of her religious enthusiasm. Ellen could only groan and pray for her children as she thought of their future.
Ellen endured; but what she endured as she watched her children mature is another story. Later in life, writing to a young friend who was considering marriage to a “good” but godless young man, she concluded:
Oh my friend, there can be no happiness in disobeying God. Is it a light matter to prefer a heart in which He does not dwell to Himself? You fondly hope to be the means of converting your proposed life companion. But, is rejecting God’s Word a likely way to be blessed? … It may cost you much to retrace your steps, but infinitely more to continue them. Cost what it will, God clearly requires the sacrifice, and He will support you in it.
If you do not know how to break it off, simply show your suitor the Word of God and tell him that you dare not disobey. When you feel the pain of this step, think of me…. Break the snare and endure anything but the wretchedness of an unscriptural marriage.
Brokenhearted,
Ellen